Hey, I'm Tavin

 Does anyone else struggle with the silly box that says "about you"?? I know I always sit there and stare for a good while before I really get to filling out all that empty space.  The who has always been the hardest for me.
  
I admit there have been times in this life that I have thought I had the who all figured out. But more times than not shortly after that, a moment occurs that makes me totally reevaluate everything I had just gotten figured out. LOL. How can we be expected to put together a series of letters, spaces, and punctuation in a manner which another is expected to correctly interpret who we are? The who for me has been a series of ironies that I am not even sure I understand on most days; yet I fully accept that I am exactly who I am meant to be in this very moment. See the who is hard man.....
   
Lets start basic and see what rabbit hole that takes us down shall we? I am a mother, a wife, a daughter, a veteran, college graduate, a sister, space-holder, bridge, spiritual student and teacher. I am by most accounts a rebel yet I hate the butterflies that come with confrontation. I am a source of inspiration for some and others find me a pretty sore subject of conversation. I am at peace under the moonlight listening to the ocean.. yet that hot sand during the day annoys the crap out of me. My husband tells me on an almost daily basis “you’re crazy!” but he always follows it with “but I love you.” I absolutely adore the space he occupies but it would be far from the truth to say I have enough left at the end of the day to show him that on a constant basis. I often question the universe’s wisdom in allowing for children to be under my care; yet I seem to collect them everywhere I go. I have five children walking this earth and lovingly refer to them as the zoo. Each one of them magical and annoying in their own special way... sometimes both in the same moment. I adopted some, birthed some, and have buried one...even though growing up I swore I would have none. I believe in realistic parenting and allowing for the zoo to be human. However, (read in the tone “however comma”) on most days I quietly curse my support of said parenting due to them “bucking the man” --which in most cases I am the man.

​I believe fully in the power of transparency and am well aware of how uncomfortable this can make some. It has crossed my mind many times that people who are not ready to see life from different angles often do not spend a lot of time around me (I am still working on not taking this personal.) I think there is a very divine power when you combine the “good” and the “bad” and still see the world from a bright point of view. I believe that by helping others see the transparency of me working thru these moments in my own life it can help them know they are not alone in their “crazy.” I like to think of myself as a bridge where crazy and normal can meet and have a nice dinner together. A place where people come to work thru things that are a little outside society’s “normal standards.” I help them see, accept, heal from, and love their own crazy parts so that their own “who” becomes easier to understand. We all have our own answer for the who and I fully support the idea that if we are honest in the sharing of that we can all see there are somethings we are not as alone as we think we are in.

During the process of putting my own "who" into words the power of the Lotus came to me. There is such power and beauty in it; yet if you look at where it came from, mud and grim is a necessary part of its journey. For me Lotus Petals is about creating a space where people can come to find the tools, answers, guidance, and support required to be the best "who" they can be. I want to be a part of that journey. That is part of my soul contract in this lifetime... to help others with the words of "the who" so that as a collective we can change the world around us.